"Hey, what’s wrong? Why did you attack me?” Laughing, she feigned a karate defense stance and used the pillow as a shield. I was not amused.
“Your damned cat ruined the perfume I was going to wear tonight at the party. And the bottle was so beautiful!”
Ann frowned. “Lucifer, you are a naughty boy!” The little fraud gazed back at her with the innocent eyes of a black feline angel. Ann sighed. “Morgan, I am really sorry about your perfume! For what it’s worth, broken glass is good luck.”
“It isn’t. The perfume was Black Poppy Musk. Do you know what it costs?”
“I’m so sorry, Morgan! What about wearing my Purple Mandrake tonight? You can use as much as you want…”
“No thanks. It smells like shit on me.” I put on my coat and took my bag.
“Morgan, I am going to clean up the broken glass.”
I nodded and stepped to the door. I was not going to clean anyway.
“Look, I don’t know if it helps, but there is a street market at the old gallery. Maybe you can find something that isn’t too expensive there.”
“Thanks Ann. I’ll drop by and have a look.”
I would not buy one of those imitation-perfumes that smelled like garbage flowers and rotten fruit! But I did not want to worry her; she was embarrassed enough and I knew that she had no money and enough problems of her own for the moment. “That’s fine, sweetie! There is enough time until tonight – I’ll find something!”
I pretended to look for my keys in my bag as she went to fetch the vacuum cleaner. When she was gone, I took the big rag doll on the bed and threw it on Lucifer’s head. I grinned with delight as he mewed and ran away terrified. Stupid spoilt cat! I had to use the money I had spared for the hair dresser to buy a new perfume. My hair would be a mess tonight and that was his fault. I cursed him mentally all the way to the market.
At the entrance of the market, Pinocchio, in his wooden doll shape, was handing flowers to the visitors. He advertised for his “sisters” and their beautiful flowers.
The sisters were beautiful fairy-dolls; each one of them was dressed in the colors of the flowers she sold. I was dazzled with their claims of all the magic things their flowers could do; they all spoke at the same time and their melodious voices incited the greatest confusion. The girl at the next stand had the longest, loveliest hair I had ever seen and she sold hair combs, hair clips and hair pins.
“Would you like a hair comb, dear? It would look like a jewel on your hair. This one will suit you best.” She pushed a hair comb adorned with glittering blue stones toward me. It was so elegant!
“I love it! I won’t go to the hairdresser so maybe with this my hair won’t be too ugly…”
She stared at me with her eyes wide open. “A hairdresser? What for? Look, dear, if you sit down a moment, I’ll take care of your hair.”
I did what she said – what was there to lose? She combed my hair and fixed it with two hair combs like the one she had shown me. She pinned a few tiny blue gems all along my hair and gave me a mirror. I uttered a scream of joy and amazement.
“Gosh- my hair is gorgeous!!! How did you do this? And it just took you a few minutes! The hairdresser would have taken hours and I doubt if the result would have been half as good!!!”
She laughed. “Why, sweetie, it is my hobby! Have you seen my hair? Do you think I go to a hairdresser? Of course, I had time to practice. When you are alone in a tower and your hair is as long as mine, you have time to do all sorts of stuff on them.”
I thanked her warmly and took some cash from my bag. She only asked money for the hair-combs; never mind how much I insisted, she would not take more. “It is my passion, dear; I won’t get paid for this. Also your hair is so beautiful!” I thanked her again and left. Now I was in a good mood.
A gypsy girl with long dark hair, white skin and red lips advertised her merchandise in a singing voice. “Buy my rainbow apples – they bring luck and happiness. Red is for radiance. Green is for grandeur. Orange is for optimism. Violet is for visions of magic and wisdom. Yellow is for joy…”
“Joy doesn’t start with a y,” I pointed out absent-mindedly.
“But it ends with one. Which is much better – things should have a cheerful end, not true?”
I could not argue with this, so I bought two yellow apples- one for me and one for Ann.
“Marzipan pumpkins – Buy my marzipan pumpkins! They’ll take you where you want to be!”
I stared at the gorgeous young woman in her wonderful dress. “Do they turn into carriages?”
“No – I’m afraid not. But they taste like heaven; if you close your eyes, they can take you to the dream-place of your choice.”
I nodded. “Fairy-dolls sell flowers. Rapunzel sells hair-adornments. Snow White sells apples. Shouldn’t you sell shoes?”
“Puss in Boots sells shoes. Maybe next time, we’ll shift – even though I must say, he is much better at selling shoes than I. Will you take a marzipan-pumpkin?”
I bought three pumpkins. I would give Ann two of them – she did need escape. I looked around dazzled, wondering what I would buy next. A cat dressed in a velvet costume sold flutes that made mice dance. A giant sold medallions shaped as golden eggs and glittering beans while his hen produced lovely music with her lyre-tail. A blond, blue-eyed siren sold music-seashells, singing conches and dancing snails. She was mute so a little crab-puppet advertised the items they sold. Then my eye caught the old perfume seller. Her stand was at the darkest corner of the market. I walked there as if mesmerized.
The old woman wore a head scarf embroidered with big bright colored flowers and she was so busy mixing some stuff in a mortar with a pestle that she barely paid attention to what happened around her. She did not notice me, but a green snake coiled on the table locked its glistening eyes on me and a few spiders appeared out of nowhere and surrounded the bottles on the table as though to protect them from a robber.
“What can I doo forr you, my dearr?” The old lady kept working with the pestle without taking her gaze of it. I had already seen her somewhere, but I couldn’t remember where exactly. And this accent… “Baba Yaga,” whispered a voice in my head. Of course! The witch of the Russian fairy tales!
“Do you have … er… something that could… attract a man?” What the hell was I thinking of? I had just asked for a love filter. True- I wanted Logan to fall for me, but…
“You need perrrfume, darling. I have good perrrfumes. Made of mushrrrooms I collect in forrrest and flowerrrs I grrrow in my garrrden. Lauvely smell too – men like perrrfume. You beautiful girrrl, men immediately fall in love with you when you wearrr perrrfume.”
I took the bottle she handled me and brought it to my nose. A thin violet smoke whirled out of the blue liquid in the bottle.
“WOOOW!!! It’s awesome!!!” I wasn’t lying. The scent was even more exquisite than my expensive perfume Lucifer had spilled this morning. “Not like garbage flowers and rotten fruit, he?” I looked around and tried to see who had spoken, but there was nobody.
The old woman smiled; her face was lovely and her eyes were so kind! That was weird – in the fairy tales she was a bad witch… Or did my memory fail me?
“You not rrregrrret it! Just put thrrree drrrops- no morrre. It worrrk wanderrrfull!!”
I nodded and paid her. The perfume did not even cost one fifth of Black Poppy Musk. “Spasiba, darrrling and don’t forrrget: thrrree drrrops. Good luck!”
As I walked away, the snake whispered: “We’ll be at the graveyard in three full moons.” I thanked it casually – as if a snake talking in a human voice was the most natural thing in the world – and I left without asking more questions.
Only out of the market, on my way at home, my brain cleared. I had my hair done by Rapunzel; I had bought a love-spell perfume from Baba Yaga and a snake had talked to me. Did all this really happen or was my mental health seriously disturbed?
I shrugged. Those people were just clever merchants and they used some illusionist’s tricks to make-believe that they were genuine fairy tale characters. I had a wonderful time at the market; my mood was much better than when I had left home. And I had spared a good deal of money. What was there to complain about?
I stopped at the grocer’s and bought a can of Golden Pâté for Lucifer. I would have missed all the fun had he not broken the bottle. A little present was the least I could do to thank him. Also I loved the silly cat; I wanted to make up for throwing stuff on his head.
I quickened my steps – time passed and I had to prepare for the party.
I stood at a dark corner of the ballroom and I admired my mirror reflection. In the dim light, Rapunzel’s hair combs and the glittering blue gems on my hair had an admirable effect: mysterious blue hues brightened my hair and my eyes were violet. If it was not for the silk dark blue dress with black lace that I wore, I would hardly believe that I was the glamorous creature reflected on the mirror.
“Hey, gorgeous, why did you leave me?” Logan came close to me and caressed my shoulders. He had not left my side since I had arrived at the party. It seemed that the perfume worked… I had put on more than the three drops recommended by the old lady at the market – I loved this scent on me.
“Your perfume is so— sexy!!” I closed my eyes to better enjoy his breath on my neck. Desire flared up inside me and my face was ablaze with excitement.
When I looked back at Logan, a blue rose had replaced his head. I laughed and clapped my hands.
“What is so funny, darling?” The voice of the rose sounded sweet and loving like a nightingale’s song.
“You – You look like a flower! And your scent is so nice!”
“Do I now? How poetic! Then come with me! We’ll join our enchanting perfumes, OK?”
He took me by the hand and led me into the garden. By the full-blown red and white and yellow roses, we danced at the sound of the music that came from the ballroom. As we whirled with Logan’s arm wrapped around my waist, I thought that with his blue rose-head and my bluish hair, we looked like a surrealistic artwork of a mad artist. I burst out in a wild laughter. Logan stopped dancing and his rose-head was fixed on me. If he had eyes, they would be filled with desire and maybe some confusion. But he only emitted a heavy scent of incense that tickled my nose. Somehow, it reminded me of the incense my orthodox grandmother used for prayers – which was rather inappropriate at that moment. My laughter became hysterical. I don’t know what went in Logan’s flower-brain, but he brought his head close to mine and his petals touched my lips. At the same time, his hands caressed my body, slid down to my thighs. He pulled up my long dress while his rose-head caressed my neck. I loved his caresses and I became aroused. At the same time, I realized that a flower-creature cupped my buttocks. I laughed so much that I had to struggle for breath. Logan probably took this for sexual excitement. I was intoxicated with euphoria and sexual desire – a fascinating combination. Logan pulled me to him, moaned…
“Hey! You idiot! Leave her alone!”
Before I knew what happened, somebody seized Logan and hit him. Logan was furious. His flower-head turned purple and he started fighting with my would-be rescuer. The intruder was my classmate Jonathan that had now a head of a frog. I sat awkwardly and watched them without reacting. How flattering to have two men fighting for me—
No, not two men. A flower and a frog. Once more, I burst into a hysterical laughter only taking short breaths and rolling on the ground.
Mouse-headed Ross rushed beside me; he looked upset.
“STOP fighting! Don’t you see? Morgan– She is not well!!”
That was not true; I have never felt better! I wanted to tell Ross and all the others who had just arrived not to worry – if I only could stop this damned laughter for a while!
My animal-headed friends around me looked like cartoons that had come to life. They were sweet to care for me, but they were such fun too!! I rolled down and laughed so much that tears filled my eyes and inarticulate sounds came out of my mouth.
“God, she is not well” squeaked Squirrel Ann, my room mate. “What the hell are you waiting for? Call an ambulance!!”
“No, I didn’t drink anything suspicious at the party. Only lemon soda – many others had the same drink and they’re fine. No, I didn’t smoke anything either. I only smoked a cigarette once and it made me sick…”
Answering those questions for the third time should have made me furious. I was so calm – not even swearing – because they had injected me with tranquillizers at the ambulance. This was also why I did not burst into a hysteric laughter even though the doctor who asked me those questions and fervently took notes was a skeleton.
“No, I am not on drugs. I just take painkillers for my headache and this is because Ann insists…”
Doctor Skeleton nodded and wrote down that I was not a junkie. He was dressed in an elegant evening suit and he had a red silk pocket square. They must have called him for me.
“I am sorry,” I said. “You had to interrupt your evening—“
“Don’t worry. It’s my job. And I haven’t missed anything – it was a boring dinner anyway.”
A euphoric stupor had invaded me, so I found everything around me normal. Maybe there was something wrong with my mind. I’d rather ask the doctor. I should not mention that he was a skeleton- that might offend him. Also it wasn’t important. Maybe skeletons were the best doctors.
“Now, could you please tell me–” I started politely. Before I had time to ask if I was mad, my eyes were caught by a crow-headed male mannequin that stood on the left corner behind the doctor’s office. He was naked and all the muscles on his body were visible. On the right side, there was a female mannequin. She was dressed in a stylish haute couture suit and had a huge bunch of flowers at the place of the head. Just above her flower-head was a painting of various flowers with their stems intertwined in a complicated pattern. Below the painting the legend read: “Female Genital Organs and Urinary System”.
“Is this what the urinary system of a woman looks like?” My mental state could wait.
“Yes, indeed. This is a complicated model with all the tubes in it.”
Tubes – What tubes? I only saw flower stems.
“The tubes wouldn’t be as much of a problem,” said crow-headed Mr Muscle “had she not such a difficult character.”
“That’s not true,” complained the bunch-flower-headed mannequin. “You are the one who cannot understand me. You never even pay attention to me.” She sobbed spreading all sorts of flower scents around in the room. Doctor Skeleton did not seem to notice any of this, even if this was the most perfumed weeping ever.
“Did you have any traumatic experiences recently?”
“No, I didn’t. But your tube-model just had one. She is crying.”
He left his pen on the table and locked his eye sockets on me. “Nobody is crying here. Lacrymal duct models are in Ophthalmology and I am not an ophthalmologist.”
Doctor Skeleton sighed. “Will you please follow me,” he said and rose from his chair.
We walked through the hospital corridors. As we passed the Department of Paediatrics, a little girl approached me; she had long blond hair and white swan wings on her back. “You have a moon in your hair,” said the fairy child.
“Thank you, darling. And you have a moon in your eyes.”
A bearded teddy bear in a white medical coat took the child by the hand and drove her back to her room. Before the little fairy vanished, we smiled to each other. But Doctor Skeleton was not happy.
“You should not talk nonsense to sick children. Better – don’t talk to them at all!”
“She told me I had…”
“Beautiful hair – I heard. You shouldn’t have answered.”
I followed him silently. Having teddy bear doctors treating those poor little fairies could hardly be considered as proper medical care, but fighting with one of the doctors would not benefit me either. Doctor Skeleton opened a door and two big eyes stared at us.
“Apologies for disturbing, colleague,” said Dr Skeleton. “I just wanted to show your Department to my patient.”
The two eyes moved in opposite directions. If they were on a face they would squint, but as it was they just floated in the air.
“No problem, colleague. Do you want us to have a look at your patient?”
That was it! Maybe there was something wrong with my eyes. That would explain why I saw all the weird stuff. “Would you mind checking my eyes?”
One eye asked me to take a seat. The other eye approached me and put drops in my eyes. Then the first eye checked my eyes at a machine that was like a microscope.
“Everything is fine with your eyes,” said the Eye Doctor. I believe that I could trust an eye to know what happened in another eye; that was probably the best department in this hospital and the only valid one too. I thanked the Eye Doctor and we left with Dr Skeleton. He was cross – again.
“You are not supposed to ask colleagues to examine you. I am doing this and, frankly, I don’t think that you needed an eye examination.”
“Then where do my problems come from?”
“I am not sure. Maybe from the brain.”
“Do you mean I am mad?”
Dr Skeleton sighed. “I didn’t say that. Maybe you had some shock. Or you inadvertently took some…”
A female skeleton in a nurse’s dress approached the doctor and gave him some papers. He checked them carefully.
“The results of your blood tests just came out. They’re clean; drugs are out of question. We’ll have to take a look at your brain.”
“Will you have to take it out of my head?” I knew that this was a foolish question. But I was upset – something pushed me to ask it.
“Of course we won’t. Don’t be silly! We’ll just run a few tests— What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know… I’m dizzy. My stomach is upset…”
Dr Skeleton caressed his chin-bone. “OK, I’ll take you to gastro…”
I was terrified. “Who’s Gaston? He sounds like a vampire! What will he do to me?”
“The gastroenterologist is just a doctor that will check your stomach. Don’t be childish – we only try to help you. Why are you so scared?”
Gaston the stomach-doctor had a head shaped as a malted milk biscuit. He told me to open my mouth and say aaaaaaah and as I did so he put a wooden spoon inside my mouth. I almost vomited as it touched my throat. While he examined my tummy, I thought that the biscuit would have been much better inside my stomach – it looked tasty too! I started laughing again like I had done at the party. I could not stop and the pink bonbon head of the nurse that came to help made things worse.
“What’s so funny? Do I tickle you?” Dr Gaston turned his biscuit-head toward me.
“N…No. I…I’m very sorry. It’s that you… You are a biscuit!”
He laughed. “You are so sweet! Only you see—“
Dr Skeleton put his bony hand on Dr Gaston’s shoulder. He did not look happy. “May I have a word with you?”
They went out – far enough that I could not hear them. Only my hearing had become sensitive, so I could follow the conversation as if they stood just beside me.
“You are not allowed to flirt with patients. Especially with this one who is only a child and not in her right mind either.” Dr Skeleton sounded angry.
“But… I… I just tried to be kind to her,” replied Dr Gaston in an apologetic voice.
“You crossed the limits.”
“No, I didn’t! And – what the hell! She is pretty!”
“True. Yet she is a patient and you may not see her otherwise.”
“You are jealous!”
“And you are stupid. I’ll report you to your boss.”
Their voices were rising. For the second time tonight, men were going to fight for me. I frowned – there would be broken bones or crumbled cookie-heads for my sake. I was panicked when a spoon-headed doctor in a surgical gown entered the room. Dr Gaston and Dr Skeleton came back to see what he wanted; I sighed with relief.
“Could you come at the OR? We need your advice on a ruptured esophagus before we start operating.” Dr Spoon seemed in a hurry.
“Sure. I’ll just finish examining this young lady.”
Dr Spoon left. Dr Cookie did his job without talking; then he told us coldly that we could leave. As we stepped out, I watched him entering the OR. I could see a few spoons and forks and knives in surgical gowns through the open door. I was sorry for the patients they operated on; they must feel like hamburgers. I started laughing again.
“Will you stop those silly giggles – you are disturbing the patients!” My gaze was caught by Dr Skeleton’s red scarf. I ignored his severe voice and laughed louder.
We arrived at the department of neurology. Dr Skeleton took me to a lamp-headed doctor. As Dr Skeleton explained about me, the light of the lamp-head flickered and changed colors. They led me to a room; on the corridor, a doctor that had a beautiful Chinese lantern-head passed by and I saw nurses with umbrella-heads. I kept laughing, even though I loved the umbrellas.
“We’ll do a few tests and we’ll keep you here tonight for observation,” explained the neurologist in a gentle voice while his lamp emitted a soothing blue light.
Dr Skeleton asked Dr Lamp to keep him updated. Then he said good-bye and left. The neurologist showed me to the room.
“Make yourself comfortable, young lady. If you need anything, push this button and call the nurse. She will visit you anyway to give you a sleeping pill. Have a good night!”
His lamp gave a green light as he left the room. I sat on the bed and waited for Umbrella-Nurse to bring my medication.
I was sound asleep when a bluish light entered my room. It took a while before I woke up and noticed it – the sleeping pills they had given me didn’t make things easy! I sensed a presence and that was not the nurse as I had thought at first.
It was the weirdest creature I had ever seen. It looked like an anthropomorphic insect that had come out of a dark fantasy tale.
“Are you a dream?” I was still half asleep and the question was not very clever, but I had never dealt with insect-people before.
“We are all dreams.” His melodious voice was like gossamer silk caressing my ears.
“The Cheshire cat stated that we are all mad,” I said without thinking. I bit my lips – my reply had been even more stupid than my question.
He laughed and his laughter sounded as delightful as his voice. Now I saw that he was handsome in the eerie way of dark fairies or demons. He was tall and thin and muscled. His figure and his face evoked an insect, but he was attractive and his blue luminous eyes were so kind. He wore a long coat and even now I cannot say with certainty if it ended in a long floating tail or if he had wings on his back. Surrounded by the bluish light he produced, he looked like a firefly and his presence was like a sweet melody that had suddenly filled the room.
“Why are you here?” How enchanting his voice was!
“I don’t know and the doctors cannot figure this out either. I was at a party when I started seeing all sorts of weird stuff. Maybe I have a brain tumor – like the girl on the TV series. Or I’ve gone insane.” I uttered those sentences in a cheerful voice as if I had received an award for some exceptional performance.
“Don’t worry, dear. There is nothing wrong with you.” He looked even more handsome as he tried to comfort me.
“I don’t worry. Frankly, I don’t think there is anything wrong with me either. I enjoy my strange visions. I laugh all the time like a fool; I feel good —You are very handsome, you know?”
I was light hearted like a chirpy bird. What the hell happened to me? How could I say such things to a fairy-insect I had just met?
“You are beautiful too! I am happy you like me. Many people find me hideous,” he added in a sad voice.
“They have bad taste.” I smiled warmly and invited him to come and sit beside me. “And why are you here?”
He took my hand in his.
“I am here for you, my dear.”
Slowly, the room changed. We did not move – it was just the room that shape-shifted. And yet, it seemed that we had travelled far away; the place where we were at present could be anywhere in the fairy realms. Luminous mushrooms and bright jewel-flowers glittered like tiny blue and green moons. Hidden among the branches of the trees, birds sang sweet melodies. Everything was so beautiful, so enchanting!
“God, what is this place? Is this Heaven? And you— are you an angel?”
His blue eyes sparkled like sapphires. “Dear, I do care for you as much as any guardian angel would. But, no, I am not an angel.”
A thought struck me. “Are you an alien?”
He laughed. “Stars are also made of dream stuff, dear. And there is stardust in all of us.”
“Are you just a dream then?” I was filled with anxiety.
“Why are you so scared? Would you like me less if I were a dream than a visitor from a remote star?”
“No,” I sighed. “Only if you are a dream, I’ll lose you as soon as I wake up. And I —I don’t want you to go!”
“Don’t worry, dear. Meeting all the time would ruin all the beauty of us being together. But we will see each other again. I promise.”
I loved his whimsical talk – it was oddly poetic. Also there was a strange beauty in his lunatic thoughts. For the first time in this crazy night, I was attracted to someone. If I had not only just met him, I would think I was in love with him.
As if reading my thoughts, he brought his face close to mine and softly kissed my lips. Then he told me tales about fairies enamoured with birds and about fierce creatures tamed by love. Those stories are like dreams in my mind – I cannot remember details, but they were so captivating that I was like enslaved.
“Never think this,” he said as though speaking into my mind. “An enslaved lover is like a bird in a cage – there is no pleasure in her song.”
We kissed again. I closed my eyes and my mind became like a whirlwind of blue, violet and purple lights and a whirlpool of sweet melodies. I fell in a sound sleep and I probably had dreams, but I can remember none of them.
When I woke up, the daylight filled my room. Despite the bright sunshine, the place seemed grey and my heart was filled with sadness. My dream world had vanished – I was back into dull reality.
Days passed and my mood always followed the same pattern: in the morning, my experience seemed like a remote dream. By the sunset, I was filled with melancholy; I missed the whimsical world I had encountered that night.
Ann did all she could to comfort me. She bought those cupcakes I love so much to cheer me up and when she saw me too sad, she would take my hand and tell me not to worry – at least my health was good and that was the most important. With or without her squirrel head, Ann is the most wonderful friend! Also she is right; all my tests came up normal. The doctors could not find what went wrong with me at the ball nor did they ever figure out why I saw all that weird stuff.
I never told anyone, but I do know what happened. It was that perfume the old woman had given me at the market that had caused everything. I even suspected that the anthropomorphic insect I had seen that night – the one I had fallen in love with – was some kind of a spirit connected with the perfume; something similar to the genies found in lamps. I know how crazy this sounds. But deep inside me, I also know that this is the truth, never mind how eerie this seems even to me.
It took me some time to accept that there was no rational explanation to my experience. At present, I have to avow honestly that even if there is an explanation, I am not interested in knowing it. All I care for is to go back to my magic world; to see again the beautiful and weird things I had seen that night.
I am not a fool. I am aware that the next time – or the time after – the experience can stop being funny and can turn into a descent to hell. I don’t mind. I am willing to take the risk.
Back when I had bought the perfume, the snake had told me that I could find them at the graveyard in three full moons. Maybe I should go and ask them what I should do next. But three full moons are too long from now and I have never been good with waiting. I will probably try again before the time elapses; I am becoming obsessed with the perfume and what it causes.
In a few days there is a party again. Logan never talked to me again after that night, but I am going to the party with Jonathan. I really like him and I don’t want to embarrass him. I will put on the perfume before the party and see what happens. I watch the full moon that shines outside and I know that tonight is the right moment. I spread a few drops on my neck – more than three of course – then I walk in the garden. I am in my nightgown and I walk on my bare feet taking care not to wake up Ann.
Once out, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and enjoy the scents of the night flowers. I don’t have to wait for long—
I am filled with a huge euphoria while the moon blows a kiss to me. As it reaches me, the moon’s kiss turns into a moonbeam that invites me to jump on it.
How silly I was to be afraid! Mounted on the moonbeam, I fly among ethereal luminous flowers; they are probably the dreams of all those who sleep while I fly toward my beloved genie of the perfume. I am not sure whether his aspect will be the same, but he will have some wonderful sensations in stock for me – about this I have no doubt.